gull &a.

it's not a matter of if, but a matter of when. we know we're never gonna hold out being really anxious about being out as trans to my mom and uncle, it's going to fucking happen someday when the need beats that anxiety.

i'm not even scared they won't *take it well.* my mom's proudly pan, and my uncle's ace, and they've both already pegged me as Not Straight, they wouldn't even *mind* much. really, the major worry is that it would get out and the *extended family* would be weird about it! but also the other major worry is, like... there's no going back, you know? suddenly i'll no longer be a Handsomely Androgynous Young Man(?) in meatspace, i'll be a Pretty Girl(?) Who Has To Suddenly Decide Who To Keep In The Dark About It, and that kinda shift is scary.

but we know it's going to happen. the more we think about it, the closer we get to breaking the biggest brainwall of them all and just fucking saying it and really finally starting. we cannot fucking stay like this forever, with the increasing amount of intensity the thought's come up i'd give it a year at the very most